Dementia Conversation Tips: Things You Shouldn’t Say To People With Alzheimer’s

Dementia conversation tips: According to the Alzheimer’s Association, people with Alzheimer’s often experience fluctuating emotions and have less control over their feelings, which makes communication challenging for them. Dana Abel, Director of the Alzheimer’s Caregivers Network in Detroit, Michigan, says, “Most people don’t interact regularly with those with dementia, so understanding the dos and don’ts of what to say and how to behave can be difficult.

Dementia conversation tips, Even well-intentioned interactions might cause anxiety or confusion for individuals with Alzheimer’s.” According to the New York Post, experts emphasize that using appropriate language and tone when communicating with those with dementia is crucial and suggest avoiding certain questions and statements, which are outlined below.

Dementia Conversation Tips

“Don’t You Remember?”

Dementia conversation tips, Experts say this question is the worst thing you can ask someone with dementia. Timothy Frey, a neuroscientist and expert on the impact of nutrition on the brain in Atlanta, Georgia, explains that this question is frustrating and embarrassing for individuals with Alzheimer’s because memory loss is a primary symptom of the disease.

This question can make them feel helpless and uncomfortable in the face of their condition. Specialists believe that forcing a person with dementia to admit they don’t remember a memory or conversation creates a negative experience for them.

“Let Me Do That For You.”

Dementia conversation tips, According to Adria Thompson, a speech-language pathologist in Massachusetts, one of the hardest aspects of the disease is managing and recalling daily tasks that one can no longer perform independently. Often, well-meaning people might want to do tasks ahead of time without knowing whether it’s necessary, but this reduces the independence of the person with Alzheimer’s. The best approach is to allow them to complete tasks themselves and offer help only if they request it.

“You’re Wrong.”

Dementia conversation tips, Experts suggest avoiding arguments and debates with individuals with Alzheimer’s, as it is likely to provoke anger and irritation. Elizabeth Landswork, a geriatrician in California, advises that when someone with dementia says it is Tuesday the 13th and not Monday the 1st, there’s no need to correct them. Allow them to think in whatever way feels right to them.

“Would You Like To Make Plans For Next Week?”

Leoni Rosensteel, President of Dayspring Resources in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which helps families with elderly care, says, “Since people with Alzheimer’s have no sense of time, there is no reference structure in their mind to make this question meaningful.” Therefore, if you want to make plans with them for the future, don’t expect them to follow up; instead, ask their caregivers to note and track the plans.

“You Look Fine.”

Dementia conversation tips, Thompson says that society often has misconceptions about what dementia is and how it works. If someone does not use this phrase with awareness of the stereotypes, it might seem like a compliment, but it can minimize the daily struggles and experiences of the individual.

“I Just Said That” Or “You Said That Before.”

Dementia conversation tips, As with the initial question, experts advise avoiding questions and statements that might upset the person. Constantly pointing out that something is being repeated or that they’ve said something before leads to frustration and reinforces their awareness of their condition.

“How Did You Feel This Week?”

Dementia conversation tips, If it has been a week since you last saw a loved one or friend, it is natural to ask this question. However, for individuals with dementia, this question can be more harmful than helpful. Experts say that while we might ask this of friends, a person with Alzheimer’s may not remember their feelings from five minutes ago, let alone from yesterday or last week.

“You’re Being Unreasonable.”

Dementia conversation tips, Michael Kramer, a long-term care trainer and social relations manager at retirement communities, notes that criticizing individuals with dementia harms their self-esteem and discourages them from speaking comfortably about themselves.

“Do You Remember This?”

Dementia conversation tips, Experts advise against asking if a person remembers specific information, such as a date or event, as it puts them under pressure and makes them feel like they are being tested.

“You’re Being Deliberately Difficult.”

Dementia conversation tips, Kramer says this phrase is “hurtful” and “denying.” He explains that behavioral challenges are a result of dementia, not intentional. Saying this ignores the reality of the disease. Using empathy and understanding instead of frustration is crucial when managing such situations. Timothy Frey also emphasizes that labeling someone as “having a problem” leads to frustration and tension.

Using Words Like “Diapers”

Dementia conversation tips, Experts suggest that as dementia progresses, caregivers will likely use products related to urinary incontinence or bibs for eating. It is better to use terms like “protective undergarments” or “eating cloth” instead.

“Oh, They Passed Away Last Year. We Had The Funeral.”

Dementia conversation tips, Experts say that reminding a person with dementia of the death of a loved one can be very upsetting because they may not remember the details. Each reminder of such an event can feel new to them and trigger fresh grief. Instead, you might say, “It seems like you’re thinking a lot about Uncle today. Do you have any memories of him from when you were younger?”

“What Would You Like To Wear Today?”

Dementia conversation tips, Experts say that giving people with dementia too many choices can confuse and overwhelm them. They may not have an opinion on whether to wear a jacket or not, as they cannot recall the weather report from an hour ago.

“Grab Your Coat And Shoes, Get Your Bag, And Come To The Door.”

Dementia conversation tips, According to specialists, long sentences with multiple components or instructions can confuse individuals with Alzheimer’s. To avoid this, use short sentences or provide brief instructions at different times.

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